A post dedicated to someone important in my life

Ive just come out of hospital.

For once funnily enough its not about my mental health. It nearly ended up that way. All because my overdose, which I just spoke about in my last Blog post, has possibly caught up with me.

I went to see my GP yesterday and the whole thing started. But that blog post will be later, for now i need some sleep. At the moment all i want is to dedicate a song to someone.

I wont mention his name, I never mention names in my blog, especially people who mean the world to me. I would never drag them into my mess, that means i risk losing them or if my blog goes public they join my roller coaster too much and I worry that they end up too deep and drown with me. Never would i want them to not be able to get off this ride, like i mentioned at the beginning of this post, you are allowed to get on and off this rollercoster, Im the one who cant.

Now, this person to me, who is he. Doesn't matter. Hes someone who's been in my life since i was adopted. I have known him that long. Hes been my rock Ive run to when my adoptive parents couldn't cope with my Borderline Personality Moods. He loved me no matter what i threw at him

I'm stubborn, I'm hard to deal with. I can be manipulative, and i like to be in control of things because if i get things spiral out of control the little baby part of me freaks out and i feel alone and scared. 

Yesterday at the hospital described me perfectly. "Shes like a 5 year old, you need to treat her that way". 

Ouch, that hurt my feelings. Guess its kinda the truth though. Guess some nurses in the country don't know how to use this thing called whispering. 

Back to the important person I wanted to talk about because as usual I waffle. 

This Man is amazing. I used to know him as the man who loved motorbikes, cold milk chocolates at night and loved cats. 

But when it came to me he would drop anything to be there for me. He is now so doing so well at life, has his own demons but who doesn't. 💕

He supports me, hes there and loves me no matter what. Hes had his own issues with my adoptive family, I don't need to put them on here. That's not my business and i don't abuse his trust and i never will. But i don't have a word in the dictionary for him, that's how i feel towards him. He really is my angel.

Shan
xxxx

To my special person this is for you