Screaming on the inside.....

If this is what rock bottom feels like it sucks. All though rock bottom was my girlfriends suicide this actually worse. 

I never thought i would say something in my life would be worse, but it is. 

I'm sorry i haven't blogged lately. My relationship has ended and I've lost a lot. I'm trying to keep swimming... Kind of like Dory.... Away from my children, my soulmate (or once was)... Now he doesn't want to know.... It got too much for him after i was sexually assulted...i don't blame him... But can i blame myself? I try not to.

Your anniversary is coming up and i miss you....

Suicide sucks. I understand it.

If you ever go to that place I implore you please STOP & THINK

Think of the people you will leave behind. I know you're hurting, I know you feel empty, I know you feel alone and nobody cares.

Do yourself a favour and all the people you will leave behind and trust me there are people....watch this video

This is a powerful message 

It spoke to me, and Ive come from a past which has been a roller coaster of trauma and damage to myself for nearly 34 years.

I lost a girl who was my angel. She was truly my all. She hung herself and now I can never see her face again except in my dreams

Miss you Tink

Hope one day we see each other again, till then

xx
Shan



10 years 16/08/2008